Tatumfor3 Region - First Round

Tatumfor3 Region

1.) Brazil Thrill vs. 16.) Slothrop

The fuck’s a Slothrop? One funny-ass commenter. The fuck’s a Brazil Thrill? It’s not an amusement park ride, a tropical cocktail, a soccer player with one name, OR a bedroom maneuver. Actually, it could be a bedroom maneuver. After all, if a Smokey Tornado qualifies, then I guess we shouldn’t rule anything out at this point.

8.) She Blinded Me with Violence vs. 9.) Chamomiles Davis

This has been one of the most hotly anticipated match-ups of the season. Newcomer She Blinded me with Violence against old school Chamomiles Davis. Will youth be served? Will experience matter? Will Scooby and the gang solve the mystery of the haunted mango tree?

5.) pr0ff3ss0r_j3rkwh3at vs. 12.) SA

Jerkwheat (I’m not typing threes, fuck it) is consistently one of the funniest folks around. SA has a sly sense of humor. Both of these commenters look forward to getting into the ring and knocking each other around. In a classic 5-12 upset watch, can SA be the sleeper?

4.) Big Ten Obsession vs. 13.) Matt_T

BTO loves him some Big Ten. We’ll let that slide. Matt_T is allegedly under-seeded. We’ll let that slide, too. It’s not like we researched these numbers or anything.

3.) White Speed Receiver vs. 14.) Chilltown

Two of the most hilarious commenters in the draw battle it out in the first round. It’s a tough break, but somebody is going to have to go running home sooner rather than later. Of course, they are more than likely already home… so it’s not like the commute will kill them.

6.) Chad Sexington vs. 11.) I Party With Smoot

This is an All-Star battle. This is the main event. This 6-11 is probably going to draw the most votes out of any match-up in the first round. Two of the wildest and most insightful posters with two of the dirtiest minds in all of Deadspin go head to head right off the bat. We’d put it on pay-per-view, but you all would have found the internet channel to pirate this off of anyway. Savages.

7.) Precious Roy vs. 10.) Arkansas Fred

Grandmaster Shake goes up against the man who puts the Kansas back in Arkansas. We actually have two commenters with real names somewhere within their commenting names. This is a dying art. We respect the old school flavor and wish them both the best.

2.) Lamppost vs. 15.) PQ Crash

Lamppost consistently delivers some of the biggest laughs seen on the Interwebs. PQ Crash will have you rolling on the floor in stitches. Volume and bombast will rule the day in this battle.