Pot Roast and Gravy Region - First Round

Finally! Another bogus tournament! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s democracy crashing and burning!

While we can all agree that PRandG set a new standard for general douchebaggery, it’s tough to agree on who will emerge victorious from this bracket. Please click on the name of the commenter for whom you would like to vote. There’s a lot of strong competitors here, and all of them are on their periods. Who will win this war of attrition? Let’s find out as the Nedessy continues…

By the way, the man who made this voting possible is in this region, we won’t mention any names… but he’s seeded 11th. Just something to consider.

Pot Roast & Gravy Region

1.) Gourmet Spud vs. 16.) Phony Gwynn

Gourmet Spud is a fan favorite. Phony Gwynn is a singles hitter. Will Mr. Potato Head be french-fried? (Groans, Flying Tomatoes) It’s in your hands, voters.

8.) The Starter Wife vs. 9.) Pete Jayhawk

Another battle of deadspinners who have been around for ages. The Starter Wife can cook you under the table. Pete Jayhawk can drink you under the table. Once they get you under the table, lord only knows what they’ll do.

5.) Signal to Noise vs. 12.) Hustler of Culture

S2N is famous for his Awful Announcing live blogs. Many of these are of these entertaining variety. Hustler of Culture has bedded 19,000 women. One of these statements is true.

4.) Not the Quarterback vs. 13.) Kid Canada

Not the Quarterback is hoping to lead his team to victory in a tough draw. A true champion of the game, he has been honing his commenting craft to perfection for years. Kid Canada is one of several representatives in this tourney representing the Great White North. Canada has secretly been planning world domination, by harboring 90% of the Northern Hemisphere’s ice. When those ice caps melt, they’ll have 90% of the world’s water. Vote against Canada at your own peril. (U-S-A! U-S-A!)

3.) Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price vs. 14.) Chief Wahoo

Reasonable Doubt was one of the all-time great hip-hop albums. Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price? That’s a sale you just can’t pass up. Chief Wahoo has stated he wants to fight a dirty campaign, and if anybody knows dirty - it’s someone from Cleveland. (ed note: We hail from Buffalo, so… pot, meet kettle.)

6.) Sh!tshow vs. 11.) Athletic Supporter

Sh!tshow is vulgar. This much we know. But vulgarity can win you acclaim - just ask George Carlin. Athletic Supporter has recently been fined by the NCAA for supporting women’s athletics a little too much. We’ll let you decide if that should affect the outcome.

7.) Shea Guavara vs. 10.) Alfino

Shea Guavara is a commenting revolutionary. Hailing deep from the coffee bean fields of Columbia, he has harnessed enough drug money to hitch a ride to the states (shoulda stayed there, it sucks up here.) Alfino has ties to Western New York. Will you hold that against him? I wouldn’t blame you if you did.

2.) Camp Tiger Claw vs. 15.) Candygram

There was a rumor floating around Spinville that CTC was going to be thrown into a well, or under a bus, or off a roof. We cannot confirm this. We do know he is one mega-formidable 2-seed. Candygram is a bubbly personality and a notoriously sarcastic smart-ass. This is going to be closer than you think. Is Candygram this tournament’s Santa Clara?