I suppose you’re here for the damn bracket

Alright gentlemen and ladies… you knew it was coming. It was only a matter of time before some poor sap with too much free time on his hands ended up creating this overly obsessive tournament. HOWEVAH, it is very necessary. We have decided to choose 64 of the best commenters in the land of Deadspinopolis to square off tournament style. EVERY VOTE IS IMPORTANT!

Here’s How it Works:

1.Deadspin commenters were chosen based upon slackluster research and seeded by throwing darts at a board. This created the “bracket” conveniently not pictured in bracket form.

2. Each subsequent post will be one particular match-up. A link to the poll will be included at the bottom of said post.

3. Voting will take place from the time the post is published until the deemed end of the round, at which time the votes will be tallied and manipulated.

4. We will collect money from the winners will then be announced, and the next round will resume. This will repeat until we crown the 2008 Deadspin Commenter of the Year. We will not play One Shining Moment.

5. Campaigning of all forms – yes, including smear campaigning – in the comments is encouraged mandatory. Please attempt to do this with the same level of hilarity, sarcasm, and venom as normally exhibited.

Remember kids, the No. 1 rule here is to have fun. If you’re not having fun, you’re probably doing it with a condom on.
Now without further ado, let us view the seeds!

Concrete Brad Region

1.) Suss vs. 16.) Tracy Ham & Eggs

8.) Tattooed Mess(iah) vs. 9.) Fan’s Attic

5.) Get Him a Body Bag, Yeah! vs. 12.) Becky

4.) Len Bias Cocaine Surplus vs. 13.) Nationalcoholic

3.) Sarcastro vs. 14.) The Legend of Vincent Tremblay

6.) Hit Bull Win Streak vs. 11.) Metschick

7.) 44 In A Row vs. 10.) Disgruntled Goat

2.) Weed Against Speed vs. 15.) Hank Scorpio

Pot Roast & Gravy Region

1.) Gourmet Spud vs. 16.) Phony Gwynn

8.) The Starter Wife vs. 9.) Pete Jayhawk

5.) Signal to Noise vs. 12.) Hustler of Culture

4.) Not the Quarterback vs. 13.) Kid Canada

3.) Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price vs. 14.) Chief Wahoo

6.) Sh!tshow vs. 11.) Athletic Supporter

7.) Shea Guavara vs. 10.) Alfino

2.) Camp Tiger Claw vs. 15.) Candygram

Tatumfor3 Region

1.) Brazil Thrill vs. 16.) Slothrop

8.) She Blinded Me with Violence vs. 9.) Chamomiles Davis

5.) pr0ff3ss0r_j3rkwh3at vs. 12.) SA

4.) Big Ten Obsession vs. 13.) Matt_T

3.) White Speed Receiver vs. 14.) Chilltown

6.) Chad Sexington vs. 11.) I Party With Smoot

7.) Precious Roy vs. 10.) Arkansas Fred

2.) Lamppost vs. 15.) PQ Crash

Supermike Region
1.) Ukraine Not Weak vs. 16.) Rock You Like an Iracane

8.) J-No vs. 9.) Mitch Kayak

5.) Yostal vs. 12.) Kataroo_Kangaroo

4.) Innings Eater vs. 13.) Fiddling While Jim Rome Burns

3.) Lingering Bursitis vs. 14.) Lizabelle

6.) Tuffy vs. 11.) Berto: The Sequel

7.) 289 vs. 10.) Civil Negligence

2.) Lady Andrea vs. 15.) Dr. Michael Mancini

And finally, to get you all in the mood for commenter bracket mayhem, here’s Gus Johnson: Screaming. We love this man. We know you do, too. Won’t you buy our book?

Angry e-mails can be directed to jgor4@yahoo.com